| Nothing left to lose |
[Jul. 23rd, 2008|04:01 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Work | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Better Hands by Natalie Grant | ] |
So I am sitting here at work with only 1/2 an hour left to go and all I have been able to think about ALL day is him - - my ex. Not just any ex, mind you.. but the one person who I came so close to completely falling in love with. Even though so much has happened in the years since we've dated (i.e. him getting randomly married and now getting divorced), there is so much history that is impossible to forget. And of course we still talk and he tells me he wants me which doesn't really help with the forgetting thing. But I honestly don't want to forget, and all I want is to have him back. I've wanted it for a loonnnng time but the timing was never right and things were always so complicated. Even when we dated the timing wasn't right, which eventually lead to the breakup. But I will be in Virginia in a month for a whole week and he will be there. And I know that I'll see him. I have played the whole scenario over and over in my mind, but we all know that what we fantasize about and what is reality are not always the same. I'm praying that this will all work out and I can be content again. But if what I want and what's meant to be aren't the same, I pray that I won't be bitter or frustrated with God. Ahhh relationships suck!
On a happier note, I have been making a wishlist of all the things I need/want for moving out and it's getting me really excited just thinking about it. Even though the actual moving out part is months to a year away, it makes me happy to have something to look forward to and plan for. Target.com is my new best friend |
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| I'm back |
[Jul. 21st, 2008|01:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Work | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | You Can Let Go - Crystal Shewanda | ] |
So I've decided that I've been away for far too long and it is high time for re-entry into the livejournal community. I am sitting here at my job right now totally bored out of my mind - - not unlike pretty much every other day. I am so over this work situation it's not even funny. Unfortunately, until I get another job, I can't quit and just have to stick it out, pretending like I am content. I hate faking it. I just can't continue being in misery for 5 days out of the week, looking at the clock trying to will the hours to go by faster. Cuz seriously, dealing with insurance companies and annoying people on the phone, is soooo not what I went to college for. I can't wait til I have my Practicum and I can actually start counseling. Which reminds me, I need to call the Sherrif's Department ASAP about their group therapy and see if they offer internships.
Thanfully, I do have something to look forward to so it's getting me through this next week and a half. In 10 days I will be in PA for about 4 days for my BFF Aly's wedding. I haven't seen this girl in like 2 years and I am wicked excited about it. Bachelorette party here I come!!!!! |
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